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Funeral for a Friendship

May you be happy. May you be safe. May you have ease. May you be loved.

Thank you for being a hero to me. Thank you for your arrogance and your pure expressions of rage – I took much strength in them. Thank you for letting me know I could get this close  and no closer. I grew to resent you, to want to lash out at you and betray you, and you have my sincere gratitude.

May you be happy. May you be safe. May you have ease. May you be loved.

Thank you for loving me and for letting me know how happy you were when I was in your presence. Thank you for our secret language and all of our inside jokes. Thank you for your material help and for letting me know you resented me for it. Sometimes, when I said something to you particularly stupid and embarrassing, you would heave a sigh, or just sit with me in silence – that was exquisitely painful, and I thank you for helping me experience it.

May you be happy. May you be safe. May you have ease. May you be loved.

Thank you for yanking me out of my humdrum life and for making me feel as though I had found a new reality in which I could unlock my creativity and thrive. Thank you for your bottomless self-absorption, your bizarre self-hagiography, and your cryptic and belittling sense of humor. Thank you for ditching me, for ripping away my sense of self-satisfaction, for turning your friends against me as I watched my social status go down in flames. Thank you for leaving me to fend for myself when I was least able to do so. Thank you for being, in so many ways, such a profound disappointment.

May you be happy. May you be safe. May you have ease. May you be loved.

You wounded, humiliated, and permanently damaged my ego so badly that I could at last see it for what it is. For that, I thank you.

Thank you and goodbye.

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Comments

Thank You

This is beautiful. I have always struggled with the idea that sometimes you have to let relationships go. I thought maybe it made me a bad Buddhist to not just try to work with every situation. But there's a fine line between being compassionate and being a doormat. And it's so important that when you do make that choice, that you are able to have gratitude for what you have been taught by that person. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thanks for the kind words. It

Thanks for the kind words. It brought me sadness and relief to write this. Sometimes forgiving people means sending them on their way.

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